Why Winning It All Doesn’t Guarantee Success

At the point when do we genuinely end up plainly effective? Achievement is at last accomplished when you feel that you’ve achieved your objectives and feel content with yourself. In any case, in today’s “disgrace culture” we are made to feel that we are failing to do enough, or we’re not doing it all around ok.

We live in a culture where the feeling of society weighs vigorously on how we see ourselves. On the off chance that we feel savored and lauded by our companions, then we should do well; and if our endeavors are neglected, then we should fall flat. This perpetual need to win in the end takes an exceptionally negative toll on our self esteem.1

We are living in an era where the disgrace culture is brutal.

Like it or not, somehow we have all capitulated to disgrace culture.2 Where we live in a condition of consistent requirement for acknowledgment from our companions. Here are a few attributes of disgrace culture, and the way that it influences our regular day to day existences:

  • Individuals precisely pick their words, apprehensive that they may disregard a social standard.
  • The individuals who think “erroneously” move toward becoming focuses for verbal flagellating.
  • In light of an ethical turmoil, you should post and express your assessment; or you may turn into an objective of mocking for “not minding.”
  • Social media– the yearning to be grasped and lauded by the group is overpowering.
  • Individuals from a gathering, coterie, or “squad” may adulate different individuals from the gathering, with a specific end goal to get applaud themselves. For instance: via web-based networking media, you have to remark and compliment the opportune individuals so as to get perceived and pick up a taking after.
  • Regular pioneers will ascend inside these gatherings; policing individuals from the gatherings in term of good code, manufacture their own particular power and notoriety, and shun any individual who sets out to digress from the code put forward.
  • Web-based social networking is greatly unforgiving to the individuals who don’t “fit in.”
  • Individuals request moment regard from others for their squad, gathering, or inner circle. They will respond adversely or even fiercely on the off chance that they feel that their gathering or sub-culture is being undermined in any capacity.
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Winning it all could mean losing yourself.

Winning isn’t everything-
that sentimental blast from the past still rings true, if not even more
so these days. In a world where our daily activities are on constant
display, it’s nearly impossible not to compare ourselves to others and
their achievements.
When you get on the
one way track to ultimate success, you tend to get tunnel vision. Your
goals are all that matter to you, and failure is not an option. In fact,
it’s the absolute worst thing that could happen, and life would no
longer be worth living.
Well, what about the
other aspects of life that do make it worth living? Relationships,
experiences, adventures, friendship, or love. These are just the few of
many factors that make a life full. When your only ambition is to
succeed, you will end up neglecting these other areas of your life.
Relationships will suffer. Those who love you will feel insignificant,
as if you can’t be bothered to waste any of your precious time with
them. Just remember that it’s awfully lonely at the top. And it will be
even more lonely when you go to celebrate your successes, raising a
glass to yourself; party of one.
You have to
ask yourself, is it worth sacrificing everything you love and hold dear
in order to hold some level of prestige in the eyes of society?

How to Win at Winning

Don’t
get me wrong, it’s imperative that you feed your passion and nurture
your ambition. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But when
your self esteem has completely deteriorated due to unrealistic
expectations, perhaps it’s time for some reflection and prioritizing.3

Don’t force things. It just makes more opportunities for mistakes.

You
need to consider outstanding circumstances. Yes, your friend from high
school may have started their own businesses, but their parents might
have given them a loan to get them started. Another one of your peers
managed to score a stellar job in a reputable company. But what you
didn’t know is that they sacrificed their entire adolescence studying
and completing internships in order to get there.
We
are all on our own journey. Everyone’s path is different, and we will
all get to where we need to be when we are meant to get there. All you
need to do is keep it moving, and keep your goal in mind.

Be very good at something, but not everything.

You
can’t be good at everything, and what made one person successful isn’t
necessarily going to work for you. Sure, many people are killing it in
the IT field, and it sounds incredibly attractive. But if you struggle
just to find the reset button on your computer, then this field probably
isn’t for you. Focusing on your existing strengths and flex them.
For example:
I wanted the freedom to be able to work remotely. I looked into
Computer Programming and even took a few classes. It just wasn’t
clicking. I felt like a failure. I considered what I’m already good at
and decided to pursue those outlets instead. I decided to look into
content writing; and here you have it. I am currently working from the
comfort of a lovely neighborhood café.

Keep the big picture in mind, but focus on small goals.

It’s
important to keep the big picture in mind, but understand that you’re
not going to rise to the top without putting any work in. Focus on small
goals instead. Consider these the stepping stones that will ultimately
pave the way to your success.

Push your own limits.

Again,
I cannot stress this enough. Do not compare yourselves to others. Set
your own realistic goals and strive for them. Once you start to make
some leeway and find that things are falling into place, set the bar a
bit higher to challenge yourself. But do this in increments. Don’t set
unrealistic standards and then kick yourself for not being able to reach
them.

Make more mistakes, and learn from them.

When
you’re striving for success, you’re going to hit some dead ends. Don’t
get too frustrated and let it discourage you. Mistakes are actually a
good thing. Take this as an opportunity to learn from these obstacles,
overcome, and grow from them. You’ll discover what you’re truly made of,
and reach your goals at the pace that you were meant to reach them.

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Updated: September 7, 2017 — 10:36 pm

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