Love, Like, or Lust: What It’s Like to Be Falling in Love

On the off chance that you request that ten distinct individuals analyze love, as, and desire, more than likely you will find ten unique solutions. Why would that be? There’s undoubtedly love and its comparable partners are entangled feelings, to some extent in light of the fact that there could be the same number of definitions for adoration as there are individuals.

Love isn’t something you can see with your eyes; rather, it’s even more an inclination that happens profound inside a man that sets off a domino impact of ensuing musings and outside activities. We utilize those contemplations and activities to develop our own particular view of what love is.

Despite how you see love, as, and desire, there exists a less complex, science-based clarification that goes past your own estimations and encounters to uncover what it resembles to become hopelessly enamored.

Be that as it may, why do we cherish the individual we adore?

Individuals regularly ask why they became hopelessly enamored with the individual they cherish. Be that as it may, this time, brain research takes the appropriate response wheel.

Since outset, we build up a comprehension of what satisfactory conduct resembles. Normally, the things we encounter as youthful youngsters imbue its effect on how we see different things in our lives, including love.1

We normally begin to look all starry eyed at individuals who resemble ourselves, who share similar interests, qualities, and yearnings in light of the fact that those are the things that give us a feeling of personality. The individual we cherish is generally an impression of ourselves.

There’s something about love that science knows but you didn’t realize.

Emotions
and their triggers represent some of life’s greatest mysteries, but
science may have cracked the case when it comes to distinguishing the
true discrepancies between like, love, and lust. A study published in
Psychological Science revealed that it all depends on how you look at
another person.2
In
the study participants were shown pictures of the opposite gender, and
were asked to imagine if they could feel lust or love for each person.
Scientists tracked their eye movements and discovered that people who
felt love lingered on the person’s face, while those who felt lust
lingered on the body. The same study also showed photographs of couples,
and respondents had to answer if the images conjured feelings of love
or lust.
Once again, more focus was on the couple’s
faces if the respondent answered “love” and on the couple’s bodies if
the respondent answered “lust”.
Then, there are the
noticeable changes in body function, such as an increased heart rate,
palms, and a fluttering feeling in your stomach. But science takes body
changes a step deeper by examining the amount of “happy” chemicals in
the brain. In instances of love, seratonin and dopamine levels tend to
rise.
But since you can’t see inside your own
brain, there are a few more obvious signs that could indicate you’ve
found true love and not a short-lived infatuation:
  • Do you look at the person constantly? This goes back to the photograph study where people who felt love would linger on a person face rather than their body.
  • Does the person invade your every thought. The person you love is more important than anything else your brain can think of.
  • Does anyone else matter? You find it impossible to have similar feelings for anyone else.
  • Would you be deeply affected if something bad were to happen to this person? True love means you can’t imagine going back to the life you lived before you knew this person.
If you answered yes to these four questions, this person might just be “the one.”

Like, love, and lust are different, because they’re actually on an emotional spectrum.

You
should know that love, like, and lust are not interchangeable, though
people will often substitute one for the other in conversation. Let’s
look at the differences.

Like

On
the mild end of the spectrum, “liking” something or someone gives you a
feeling of contentment. However, you could be just as satisfied if that
person or thing in your life were absent.
For
instance, you might like your neighbor because they have good taste in
music. But if your neighbor decides to move away, their departure
wouldn’t leave a gaping hole in your life.

Love

On
the more intense side of the emotional spectrum, love is the unceasing
yearning that impacts the physical functions of your mind and body
(according to science). In other words, think of love as a point of no
return: once you fall in love with someone, life as you know it will
never be the same.
When you find someone who
sweeps you off your feet, that person is all you can think about, talk
about, and look at. Of course, these feelings can happen even when it’s
not true love. The key difference is if these feelings last longer than a
few months.

Lust

Then
there’s lust, a (sometimes dangerous) emotion that disguises itself as
love, but with completely different intentions. There are three distinct
attributes that separate the two:
  • Lust is temporary.
  • Lust is a superficial emotion driven by physical characteristics such as a person’s appearance.
  • Lust is easily forgotten, whereas love leaves a lasting impact.
Lust
tends to be more se*-focused, with more emphasis on physical pleasure
than deeper connections. For instance, a person who may have had a few
alcoholic drinks might find a person more interesting than if they were
sober. Once the alcohol effects wear off, life can resume as normal
without a second thought.
In some ways, you might
consider lust and like as precursors to love; that is, lust and like
will eventually wear off. If you’re still interested in a person when
that happens, you may have found your true love!

Love could be about the balance of love, lust and like.

They each start with “L”, but they are far from synonymous.
Scientific
discoveries on how the mind and body react to each “L” proves it. If
you want to know if it’s real, think about how you look at a person, and
how a person looks at you. If you each spend more time studying the
face, you might have found a winning combination.

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Updated: September 9, 2017 — 11:37 pm

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