Don’t Wait for People to Praise You. Do It Yourself Every Single Day

Looking
within ourselves is not often second nature to us. When we’re young, we
get into the habit of looking to our parents and peers for recognition
in order to validate ourselves – it’s how we tend to learn about the
world around us and our place within it.
In our structured school systems, we’re used to waiting for a teacher’s approval and recognition and rarely learn to actually recognize ourselves. Doing this often led to accusations of arrogance rather than self-empowerment.

Our Culture Teaches Us to Focus On Our Weaknesses

It’s
this early structure in our culture that limits our sense of discovery
about our inner selves. But it also transcends throughout our lives
through our general mindsets on self-improvement.
When
we talk about improving ourselves, it tends to come from a space of
lack.  We sense we’re not doing something right or we’re heading down
the wrong life path and it’s usually in these circumstances that we feel
the need to improve the flaws that have taken us there.
When
we ask for feedback, more often than not it’s our flaws and what’s not
good enough that’s highlighted rather than what we did well. The danger
of this comes when our strengths aren’t celebrated and instead neglected
in a way that is never developed into great ones.

What Recognition Does to Our Brains

Recognition
from others can be important but not when it’s your only source.
Recognizing our own achievements and strengths is much more powerful
than any outside validation.
Studies show writing down and recognizing our accomplishments, no matter how small, actually creates activity in the reward circuitry of our brains.
Dopamine, along with other key chemicals, is released causing us a
sense of energy around our achievements and allows us to get that
feel-good factor.
This is why waiting for
recognition from others can be futile. It may seem positive to get that
feedback and validation from other people but when it doesn’t ultimately
come from within, it can wear off easily. When we do well, often we’re
the first to notice and we can overestimate how much others care about
our accomplishments. This is why you shouldn’t wait for recognition but
instead feel the power of recognizing yourself.

How To Recognize Your Own Achievements and Gain Empowerment

Write Down 3 Small Achievements Each Day
We
can go through our whole day and assume we haven’t achieved anything
but this is never the case. Even the smallest things such as meeting a
new person, walking 10 minutes more than usual or helping a stranger
should be considered accomplishments and celebrated.
Writing
down at least 3 small achievements each day can get us noticing that we
do achieve more than we think. And it’s the collection of these small
achievements that add up to the huge successes.
J.K
Rowling spent many years achieving small tasks before she became hugely
successful. Persevering with writing every day with the odds seemingly
piled against her would have been extremely hard with no outside
validation and constant rejection from publishers. Instead, she took
note of how well she did every day and how much closer she was getting
to accomplishing her goal.
For Every Weakness, Write Down a Similar Strength
We
can easily focus on our weaknesses but a good strategy is to counteract
any weakness with a strength. In other words, putting a positive spin
on something seemingly negative. This helps you see the glass half full
and see strengths that you haven’t necessarily recognized.
If
you’re an over-thinker, write next to it that you’re detailed-minded.
Being a perfectionist means you take pride in attention to detail.
Having a tendency to be over-eager means you’re passionate.
Writing
these down enables you to see things from a different perspective and
you’ll recognize not to dwell on weaknesses as completely negative.
Don’t Play the Comparison Game
We
are all victims of comparing our lives to the success of others. But
this causes us to focus from a space of lack and stops us from seeing
what we do have going for us.
We have to remember
that everyone is on their own path and at their own pace. Most of the
time we only see a small fraction of someone’s life so it’s futile to believe
someone is ultimately doing ‘better’ than us. Social media presents us
with this constant opportunity to see a small window into others’ lives
but be aware that feelings of envy are pointless and diminishes our
sense of achievement. Don’t get sucked into the comparison game.
Keep Listening But Remain Detached
The
modern world has a competitive nature about her. We feel we need to be
the best, and to do so, struggle and strive to be better – but at the
cost of what? The feedback we get tends to focus on the negative but the
key is to be able to filter out the helpful from the unhelpful.
It’s
up to us to decide what is constructive in our growth and what is just
unnecessary. Don’t get caught up dwelling on other’s opinions about you
but instead accept if it’s something you genuinely want to work and
focus on or not. Recognizing this from within rather than relying on
outside validation will help you grow much more quickly and in your own
way.

So, while being recognized for your
achievements will give you a boost, it has the danger of being very
conditional to your sense of worth. By learning to celebrate and
recognize your accomplishments from within, you will move forward and
grow in much better ways than you thought.

Also Read:  How to Talk to People When You Have Nothing to Say

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Updated: September 7, 2017 — 10:36 pm

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