Associating with the right people can be the difference between happiness and misery. You may have heard the Jim Rohn quote,
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
have an effect on the way we live our lives whether we like it or not.
Choose your friends and associates wisely to foster positive and healthy
Toxic People Are Like Soft Drinks, They Will Kill You Slowly
and drugs can kill you quickly, but toxic people are more like soft
drinks. When you drink a soda, it is unlikely to cause you immediate
harm, and it certainly shouldn’t kill you. If you drink a soda every
day, though, you may notice the negative health effects of your soft
slowly drain you of your vitality. The more energy you spend on them,
the more stressed and empty you feel. Some of them create such a
negative force in your life that they can turn you into a toxic person
without you realizing it.
temporary high of drinking a Coke, but drinking them habitually can
cause diabetes and obesity. Hanging out with that toxic individual may
seem okay at first, but in the end you’ll feel tired and used .
5 Types of Toxic People You Should Avoid at All Costs
strikes up a relationship hoping that it will be a drain on
productivity and happiness. Unless you pay careful attention, toxic
people weasel their way into your life and use your mental energy,
patience, and happiness without you realizing it.
have all encountered people like this, and some of us may have even
been toxic people at some point in our lives. If we really are the sum
of the five people we associate with the most, it is crucial to avoid
these five types of toxic people.
1. The Gossiper
gossiper is an insidious force in any organization. They make you feel
like they are bringing you into the fold by sharing delicate information
with you. It seems like all they do is gather and disperse chitchat
about other people.
you about someone else behind their back, it is almost always a toxic
situation. It doesn’t add value to your life, and if the gossiper will
talk to you, you can be sure that they’re also talking about you to someone else.
is the person at work that corners you during break time and talks
badly about another coworker’s performance.
they can come to you, they’ll be likely to repeat this over and over.
People see you together, and they may even label you as a gossiper just
for being associated with this type of toxic person.
you think about what you can get from the conversation, it is most
likely that these talks will not benefit you in any way. In fact,
associating with a gossiper could really hurt you. Think about how you’d
feel if you knew someone was talking about you behind your back. Now
imagine someone catching you in the middle of a gossipy exchange. You
don’t need that drama in your life.
2. The Manipulator
manipulator knows what they want, and they’ll use you to get it. They
don’t care about your thoughts and feelings. It seems like the more time
you spend with them, the less power you have over your own destiny.
Stick around this person too long, and you’ll end up doing whatever they
want instead of standing up for yourself.
us don’t act without a purpose, but the manipulator is bent on achieving
their mission at the expense of everyone around them. Manipulation can
take several forms, but a classic way to manipulate is through victim
example, I have a friend who is being in a toxic relationship. His
girlfriend is controlling and abusive, and every time it seems as though
he will get out of the negative situation, she manipulates him into
staying. Whenever he tries to leave, she fakes a health crisis to make
him feel sorry for her. Since my friend is a nice guy, he sticks around
to try to maker her feel better.
3. The Judge
many cultures revolve around shame, and the judge takes full advantage
of our discomfort with shame to steal your energy. Regardless of what
you say, think, or do, the judge will always have some criticism for
shoes. Their only concern is what you did or didn’t do. The more time
you spend with them, the more depressed you’ll be. You can never make
them happy, and if their opinion of you influences your self-worth,
you’re doomed to misery. When you’re dealing with a judge, you’ll always
take the blame.
hard-working entrepreneur. The entrepreneur loved his wife very much.
Unfortunately, his wife epitomized the judge. Often, he would have to go
away for long periods of time for work. She blamed and resented him
because he was away for so long, even though his job required it. It
didn’t matter that his efforts paid for their home, gave them security,
and allowed them to lead a good lifestyle. No matter how much he tried
to make her happy, she was too consumed with finding fault to appreciate
4. The Exaggerator
exaggerator doesn’t know how to keep a small problem small. They often
resort to saying things like, “You never do…” or “You have always been…”
They don’t take the time to consider steps you’ve taken to fix the
problem or correct your mistake. Mess up in front of an exaggerator, and
be prepared to be labeled by your mistake. To an exaggerator,
everything feels like the end of the world.
you’re on a team, and you’re planning a big presentation. You were
assigned to work on part of the presentation, but then someone in your
family became ill and had to go to the hospital. You miss the deadline
to turn your part of the project in to the team, but the final
presentation is still over a week away.
would understand these difficult circumstances, and a few might offer to
help you complete your work during this stressful time. The exaggerator
is not most people, though. An exaggerator will treat missing deadline
as a horrible oversight that demonstrates your lack of dedication to the
team. They will continue to hang this missed deadline over your head
long after the presentation.
5. The Emotional Expresser
vulnerable enough to talk about feelings can be valuable in
relationships, but sometimes people take this too far. The emotional
expresser loves talking about feelings, but they never do this in a
constructive way. This is the person who repeatedly tells you how
something makes them feel, but they never take any action to improve bad
talking instead of taking action. If you hang out with an emotional
expresser, sooner or later, you’ll become just like them. People like
this can become so caught up in discussing their feelings that they lose
the ability to solve their problems. This is not a productive or
healthy way to live.
emotional expresser comes to you with a personal problem that must be
fixed. They’ll tell you about their terrible relationship or their evil
boss, but they aren’t willing to do anything to solve their problems.
They won’t cut ties with the person harming them, and they won’t look
for a new job.
they can improve their lives will be met with resistance. “I can’t do
that…” and “I’ve already tried that…” are the default responses that the
emotional expresser will give to you when you challenge them to face
their problems head on.
Do Yourself a Favor, and Keep Excellent Company
you allow these toxic people into your life, you set yourself up for a
depressing, infuriating, emotionally exhausting experience. It can feel
harsh to cut these types of people out of your life, but if they’re
having a negative effect on you, then you need to act.
have a limited amount of time and energy to apply to all the things
that you want to do with your life. Don’t allow a toxic person to rob
you of your potential.